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Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Through the Observation Tank

He has his face in mine again making me want to scratch his eyes out. It’s not that I hate the kid. I mean he does take care of me after all, but does he have to pick me up and shove his face into mine like he’s ready to make out with me or something? It’s kind of creepy.

Instead I just stare back, keeping my guard up just in case he tries a little Fabio magic, and pretend I don’t care. After a few seconds he puts me back in my little tank, but still watches me, leaving the lid off my tank, as if mocking me since he knows I won’t be able to get out.

I stand still for a few seconds, not wanting to amuse him at all. I mean if the bastard is going to keep me in a glass tank, does he really deserve the pleasure of watching me do some awesome stuff like…like…some of the many awesome things I do. Stuff so awesome in fact, I can’t think of it right now, but I swear to you, it exists.

Why couldn’t God have made me a turtle? At least then if I didn’t like someone I could just pull inside my shell or even bust out some badass ninja moves. And why is it turtles get to be natural ninjas? Although there are times I wonder if everything on TV is true or not since in a tank not too far from mine, a turtle, named Hobgoblin, lives and he doesn’t seem to do much in terms of action. But I know he has to be a ninja considering stuff happens throughout the day and despite the fact I don’t see him doing it, it has to be him. Ninja quickness and all.

But that doesn’t explain why I’m not a ninja master. The TV must have lied during that part. Maybe in reality rabbits are natural ninja masters and teach the turtles, but because they aren’t so photogenic they decided to use a rat. Besides, who was ever afraid of a little bunny rabbit, ninja powers or not? But a rat? Damn straight! We’ll gnaw your face off. But I digress.

Watching the kid, whose name is Shakira or something (I’m guessing since he keeps singing it out loud when he picks me up sometimes), I run towards my wheel. Leaping into the air, I try to execute a little kick, to intimidate the kid, only to smash stomach first into the edge of it, knocking the wind out of myself.

‘Ah cheese!’ I yell.

Shakira finds this funny and laughs; which makes me want to gnaw his eyes out even more than before, but considering I’m stuck in the cage, I settle for muttering a few words and shaking my fist at him.

He ignores my fist and walks away, still chuckling to himself as I rub my aching stomach. One of these days, I’ll show that kid who’s really the boss around here. Except that day isn’t today. Instead, I smell something that catches me off guard. Something different and strangely familiar at the same time.

I carefully survey the area, intent on finding the source when I see it. Another rat. Except this one isn’t in a tank and looks kind of scary. And lucky me, he’s staring right at me from the top of a nearby window sill.

I open my mouth to call out to him, maybe ask his help in taking care of Shakira, but before the words can come out, he’s in the air and I feel his body slam into mine.

‘Hey what was—‘I begin, but I suddenly realize he is actually a she.

Quickly, I regain my composure, look up into her eyes, flash my biggest smile and say, ‘hey there baby.’

©Copyright 2008 by Travis Brantner

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